28.7.09

Zombie Haiku

Below you will find a collection of the zombie-themed haiku (zomku) tweeted by @Zombie_Frenzy on Twitter. This post will be updated as more haiku come about.

16.3.09

alone, still, quiet
sharpened axe gripped in my hand
fifteen days remain

17.3.09

tattered note hangs, says
where were you when the world changed?
they come in two weeks

19.3.09

kids roam in darkness
chase fireflies in graveyard
below, the dead sleep

clouds drift past full moon
breath of wind rattles tree limbs
figure stalks by, groans

20.3.09

inside the dark shed
a girl cried, a man held her
outside, they closed in

21.3.09

pen moves on paper
scratches out fond memories
no one's left to read

23.3.09

do the walking dead
deserve to be feared more than
our own lethargy?

25.3.09

simple man watches
eyes on the town, overrun
hero, he'll become

26.3.09

feet shuffle, they groan
move en masse, through the motions
corporate zombies

boarded windows, doors
keeping out a world gone mad
temporarily

27.3.09

man cries, gun in hand
tears on metal, he resists
bullets for april

a slippery floor
bloody traces of undeath
gun cocked, he moves on

in fear, we forget
inside all of us, there's hope
a light through dark days

28.3.09

poor zachariah
his warnings called dementia
they should have listened

smiling crescent moon
weak light drips, creates shadows
for the sad to hide

31.3.09

breaking through the walls
boredom, procrastination
or just a zombie

the nightmares rouse him
rattled, he pours coffee, waits
the undead sunrise

1.4.09

teeth sink into flesh
infection reigns, heartbeat fades
zombie creation

2.4.09

cursor blinks, taunts him
unused keys rise and shamble
writer's block zombies

4.4.09

Rain runs off the roof
collects in puddles below
mixing with the blood

8.4.09

pulled by undead strings
the still wake, rise, walk again
reanimation

10.4.09

a bloodthirsty horde
relentless in its pursuit
friday followers

t-shirt said: jesus
the original zombie
but he didn't bite

12.4.09

procrastinators
stalked by lazy zombie horde
better get moving

15.4.09

flashlight beam searches
unnatural sounds close in
dead in the darkness

16.4.09

digital traces
scattered throughout cyberspace
stalked by net zombies

17.4.09

tv station warns
not safe outside, stay indoors
the curious die

21.4.09

cleaning up the streets
one zombie at a time, but
don't believe the lies

22.4.09

stayed up late writing
thoughts leaking, zombies waiting
where my brain puddles

23.4.09

i shamble, he runs
enters a bread factory
yum, brain sandwich time

24.4.09

the ones waving hands
saying me, me, look at me
first zombie targets

27.4.09

walked out to escape
but even the spring stalks me
above, zombie cloud

28.4.09

bite the undead back
eat your zombie-o's today
nutritious breakfast

30.4.09

for twenty-nine days
he stalked the long, winding road
and finally, brains

thirty days running
words spilled out like intestines
sleep until I rise

4.5.09

rise, said the rooster
the zombie and sun obeyed
brains over easy

5.5.09

gray fingers claw dirt
water pools in parted earth
clouds swallow the dead

blanket of undead
parachutes, falls, covers, spreads
no warmth in its threads

7.5.09

post lunar landing
astronaut sees a strange sign
undead pigs in space

10.5.09

bodies puzzle him
checkered light streams through the blinds
then one stirs, rises

19.5.09

they attack, she screams
watches through parted fingers
flinches, spills popcorn

25.5.09

between the pillars
a man cried out, stumbled, spilled
teeth marks on his flesh

28.5.09

limbs sway overhead
shadows play tricks on gravestones
wind like undead breath

3.6.09

cheap, store-bought makeup
tattered clothes, unused latex
undead halloween

8.6.09

her terror, her screams
break the silence of snowfall
red melts away white

17.6.09

he's surrounded, trapped
just one left in the chamber
he prays, cries, fires, slumps

25.6.09

the chopper blade whirred
below, mobs of undead stirred
low fuel alert heard

6.7.09

she tires in her flight
dead fingers reach, shadows stretch
away from dawn light

21.7.09

self-propelled mower
moves on without its owner
blood on fresh cut grass

21.5.09

Very Short Stories

Below are the one-tweet stories that have been posted on twitter @Zombie_Frenzy.

©2009 @Zombie_Frenzy @brttrx


* * *

She watched the girl paint her face in the mirror. A poof of white powder, the beginnings of an undead mask. She loved costume parties.

* * *

She tore her ex's picture into pieces and tossed them in the fire. A muffled cry came from where he lay, bound and gagged. "You burn next."

8.5.09

Shadow

This was originally published 8.5.2009 as another piece of "Fiction in 10 Tweets" on Twitter. This one contains a zombie, but it's not in the same tradition of some of the earlier stories.

Shadow - ©2009 @Zombie_Frenzy @brttrx


The sympathetic crowd was gone, and she was alone. Joanna stood in the living room for a long while, her hip resting against the sofa.

For a moment she was a mannequin, unmoving, her broken heart vanished, the pain gone. Then reality drifted back. Her husband was dead.

Where was her son? She ducked out from under death's shadow and searched. Not in the kitchen. The game room was dark. She headed upstairs.

She found him laying on the floor of his room, still dressed in his suit. Crayons moved furiously over a piece of white paper.

Joanna walked to her son and kneeled beside him. She ignored the drawing and tousled his blond hair; it was the same color Tom's had been.

The boy colored a few moments more, then raised the paper. On it was a crudely drawn figure of a man. There were X's in place of his eyes.

"Look, Daddy's a zombie!" he said. Joanna gasped. Her hand moved to her mouth. Tears streamed out of her swollen eyes and down her cheeks.

The boy frowned. "What's wrong, mommy? Don't you like it?" She choked back the tears. She had to.

"Honey, I love it," she said, wiping her face. "You're a wonderful artist." She stroked his hair once more before walking to the door.

She spun in the doorway and looked back at her son- all that remained of Tom outside of memories. "Thomas, I know your dad would be proud."

27.4.09

Don't Make Her Angry

This scene comes just after the three members of the ZCA find themselves in the middle of a dangerous and uncomfortable situation with equipment that doesn't work. And since Alexis is involved in romantic-esque relationship with the boss who bought their company out, well, she's nonplussed. Rated mature for a naughty word or two and sexual inferences.

INT. CORPSE HEADQUARTERS - MORNING

There is BANGING on the front door. Yates comes from the
hall into the foyer and opens it. Alexis bursts in, her
glasses on top of her head, her eyes on fire.

YATES
Madame, you can’t go in- 

ALEXIS
Save it, Yams. Where is he? 

She stomps off down the hall.

Farther down, Epstein emerges from his office and sees
Alexis.

EPSTEIN
Alex, I knew you’d come. 

He takes a few steps but notices the determination in
Alexis’s walk and freezes.

Then she pulls out her pistol.

ALEXIS
Know what this does, Mr. Hero? 

EPSTEIN
I- 

ALEXIS
Nothing. It does nothing! 

She fires a dart into a "Pride and Prejudice" looking
painting on the wall. It sticks in the forehead of one of
the men.

She swings the gun around and points it at Epstein.

ALEXIS (CONT’D)
Maybe you don’t believe me. 

Alexis is breathing heavy. Her shoulders rise and fall. Her
nostrils flare. She doesn’t see Yates approaching from
behind her. Epstein nods. Yates raises a hand and chops
Alexis on the back of the neck. Her eyes roll back and she
collapses. Epstein catches her before she hits the floor. He
looks up to Yates, who is smiling proudly.

EPSTEIN
Let’s get her in my office. 


INT. EPSTEIN’S OFFICE - LATER

Alexis rouses and her vision is fuzzy. She can’t make out
where she is. She blinks once, twice. She pushes herself up
off the couch she’s laying on and the pain hits her. She
touches the back of her neck with a hand and tries to
remember.

The haze clears, and she sees Epstein sitting behind his
desk, flipping through a stack of papers.

She starts to remember.

ALEXIS
You... 

Epstein looks up, sees her and gives a weak smile.

EPSTEIN
Alex, you’re awake. 

Alexis sits up and holds the back of her neck.

ALEXIS
You knocked me out. 

EPSTEIN
Yates took care of that. I wish he
hadn’t, but... you were pretty
upset. You were going to shoot me. 

ALEXIS
I was upset. Am upset.
(standing up)
How could you send us out there
like that? 

EPSTEIN
Why don’t you sit down. 

ALEXIS
I’ll make my own decisions. You buy
us out. Fine. New office is
wonderful, but outside the Safe
Zone? Fine. I freaking SLEEP with
you and right now, that seems less
than fine. You took our patents,
Epstein Clooney, and that was fine
until you decided to coop us up for
days without letting us do what it
is we do- save people- while your
crack crew of scientists fucks up
every formula Abe ever came up
with. And then you send us out with
faulty equipment into the middle of
the damned horde. 

EPSTEIN
I’m not sure what... 

Alexis stomps on the floor, stopping his words.

ALEXIS
I’m not finished. 

She closes her eyes for a second to fight off the dizziness.

ALEXIS (CONT’D)
Abe tested the tranq darts when we
got back, after we almost had our
heads chewed off. And one of your
vans is in need of major repairs, by
the way. Blood, guts, bullet holes. 

Epstein raises his eyebrows.

ALEXIS (CONT’D)
Yeah. But the tranq darts. Sugar
water. They were filled with sugar
water. Effective on the zombies
with a sweet tooth, which includes,
oh, none of them! 

EPSTEIN
I don’t know what to say. 

ALEXIS
HERE’S what you say. You say, I’m
sorry, Alex. I’m sorry you and your
partners, your FRIENDS, almost died
Alex. To make it up to you, Alex,
as soon as you leave here I’ll get
the supplies back to Abe so you can
make your own tranqs and dotes and
you can go back to doing what it is
you do. And I understand, oh Alex,
that I will do every God damned one
of these things exactly as I
said if I ever hope to even
approach the minuscule possibility
of sleeping with you again. 

Alexis turns away and storms toward the office door. She
stops and turns. She sees her guns laying on the front of
Epstein’s desk and charges back. She picks them up and leans
in real close to Epstein, so they are face-to-face. His eyes
are wide.

ALEXIS (CONT’D)
And if William Butler Yeats ever
gets within ten feet of me again, I
will rearrange his face. And shoot
you. 

Alexis storms out. Epstein watches her leave and once she’s
gone he exhales. He walks around behind his desk and picks
up a walkie talkie.

EPSTEIN
Yates. She’s coming out.
(beat)
I wouldn’t let her see you.

22.4.09

It's A Living

FADE IN:


EXT. DARK STREET - NIGHT

The street appears empty and damp. Hardly any of the lights
on the street lamps are working, and the one that is
flickers. We hear footsteps, distant at first, but they get
louder.

And then we’re running, trailing the black bootstrapped feet
of some unseen person. We pan up, seeing a flowing red
shiny cloak and curly blond hair, all wrapped around the
stunning figure of ALEXIS SMART. Pistols swing with her arms
as they pump through the air. We hear her breathing hard.

She approaches the end of what looks like an alley. Then we
hear other FOOTSTEPS, heavier ones. And along with it, a
JINGLE JINGLE. Alexis’s eyes go wide with realization just
as she turns the corner...

WHAM!! She collides with someone. Bodies fly, roll and
sprawl onto the ground. Alexis whirls and instinctively
points her guns at the other figure rolling around
painfully on the ground. Whoever it is is wearing cowboy
boots with spurs.

ALEXIS
God Dammit, Chuck! 

The other collider is CHARLES MCKENZIE, a mid-30s guy who’s
trying his hardest to play the part of a cowboy from the Old
West.

But this isn’t the Old West, this is...

NYC A.D. 2067

The date and setting appear on the screen as a ten-gallon
hat tumbles through the street.

Charles- a.k.a Chuck, Chucky, Chuckster, Mac, or whatever
Alexis feels like calling him at any given time- coughs and stands up with
plenty of MPHHS and AHHHS.

CHARLES
The hell you think you doing
tearing through here like that? 

ALEXIS
(getting to her feet)
Me? Me?! You’re supposed to be over
on 56th bagging Old Man Buzzard or
whatever the freak his name is! 

Charles walks over and picks up his hat. He dusts it off and
slaps it on his head, crooked like.

CHARLES
Listen, Missy... Don’t you...
(beat)
Wait... why were you running? 

Alexis stands and attempts to catch her breath.

ALEXIS
(walking toward Charles,
counting on her fingers)
There are only two reasons a girl
runs. One, bad date. Two, because
something is chasing her. 

Alexis whirls and faces back down the alley. It’s dark so
that you can hardly make anything out.

Then some four-legged creature gallops out of the darkness
and leaps into the air. Alexis drops and rolls, and takes
one shot. PFFFT! It’s not a bullet, but a dart. It sticks in
the chest of the beast, which YELPS and spills onto the
pavement.

Charles is there in seconds, pulling a bit of rope from his
belt and hog-tying the animal. We see now it’s a large black
dog.

CHARLES
That the dote or a tranq? 

ALEXIS
Tranq. Had one in each gun. 

CHARLES
Good. We’ll get this furry fella to the doc.
He’s getting closer. 

Charles finishes tying the animal up and rests his hands on
his knees. He pulls a flask from his boot and drinks. He
offers it to Alexis, who has gotten up and wandered over.

ALEXIS
No thanks.
(beat)
So about my job. Didn’t get it
done. Cujo here got in the way. 

CHARLES
Zombie pets. Makes for an
interesting evening. Thought you
said we’d be done by two? 

ALEXIS
Shut up, Chuck. 

There’s a distant sound, a MOAN, and both Alexis and Charles
straighten a bit.

ALEXIS (CONT’D)
Where’s the cart? 

CHARLES
(thumbs over shoulder)
Around the block. 

ALEXIS
Get it. It’s dinner time, and we’ve
got company. 

Charles gets up and jangles off in the direction he pointed.
But Alexis isn’t looking after him. Her eyes are looking in
the opposite direction, where the street is slowly filling
with shambling figures. Zombies.

We hear a sound like a blender. Alexis turns and Charles
rolls up in a slightly modified golf cart. He hops out while
it’s still rolling and lifts the sleeping dog to put it in a
large basket mounted on the back. Alexis, her eyes still on
the advancing mob, jumps behind the wheel and punches the gas
just as Charles gets back in. They zoom off away from the
zombie horde.


EXT. GOLF CART - NIGHT

Charles opens a compartment in front of him and pulls out a
sawed off shotgun. There’s a sticker on it that says ZOMBIE
COLLECTION AGENCY. And below it, a hokey slogan, which he
reads...

CHARLES
It’s a living. 

Alexis rolls her eyes.


EXT. DARK STREET - NIGHT

The cart drives off into the distance.

MAIN TITLES BEGIN

Throughout the titles, we see an animated montage of the
world descending into the madness that is a zombie
apocalypse. "Mad World" by Tears for Fears sets the tone.

As the images come to an end, the music fades out and we’re
back to the cart. It takes a hard left turn and accelerates.


EXT. GOLF CART - NIGHT

We are looking at Alexis’s eyes in the cart’s rearview
mirror. They are focused on the road, but then look up to
check the mirror. She squints, and then her eyes pop wide
open.


EXT. DARK STREET - NIGHT

Alexis slams on the brakes and the cart comes to a halt.
Charles gets the worst of it, as he's not wearing a seat
belt and is completely unprepared. He smashes into the
plexiglass windshield and then rocks back onto the seat, his
hat covering his face.

CHARLES
(muffled)
The God damn hell you doing? 

Alexis doesn’t answer. She’s out of the cart, staring back
behind them down the wide street. A few blocks down there
are five or six zombies covered in a net. Next to them is a
big UPS truck that has been repainted. The logo on the side
is unreadable from this distance.

On the other side of the cart, Charles gets out. His hat is
in one hand and he’s holding his other hand over his eye.

ALEXIS
Any ideas what that is? 

Down the street the net tightens over the zombies and lifts
them off the ground via a mini-crane mounted on top the van.
The zombies swing back and forth. Their GROANS carry to our
heroes' ears on a light breeze.

CHARLES
A bored dog catcher? 

Alexis walks to the corner of the street, trying to get a
better look. She turns back to Charles.

ALEXIS
Let’s go find out. 

CHARLES
We should really get the Hound of
the Baskervilles back to the
office. 

A louder GROAN is heard, and Alexis turns back around to
look down the street to her right.

ALEXIS
Horde alert. 

A few zombies are shambling toward her. She throws up her
hands.

ALEXIS (CONT’D)
Just when it was getting fun. 

CHARLES
Get over here. We can play
detective later. We’ve got two more
to breathe life into before sunup. 

ALEXIS
(salutes)
Yes sir! 

Behind her, the van with the netted zombies squeals its
tires and speeds off. She raises her sunglasses and squints.

ALEXIS (CONT’D)
I don’t like this, Chucky. Not one
bit. 

Charles and Alexis get back into the cart and drive off.

19.4.09

Open for Business

This was originally published 19.4.2009 as another piece of "Fiction in 10 Tweets" on Twitter. A little more light-hearted and fun than my first three efforts.

Open for Business - ©2009 @Zombie_Frenzy @brttrx

2067 A.D. - Ten years have passed since the Frenzy virus spread rapidly across the globe, turning most humans into cannibalistic carriers.

That's where we find Alexis and Charles, two 20-somethings who spend their nights hunting the undead. Not to eliminate, but to revive.

You see, our heroes have gone private, forming a meaningful company serving a worthy cause. Alex and Chuck: the Zombie Collection Agency.

It's a Living- the hokey catchphrase is plastered all over the walls of their office. On this night, Charles raps on Alexis's door.

"You about ready?" He checks his watch- yes, time is still relevant post apocalypse- and waits. Then the door swings wide, and there she is.

Alexis, a pretty blond, struts out looking fabulous. She wears a shiny red cloak, tight pleather pants and sunglasses. "Let's do this."

She saunters off past her partner and heads out the door. Charles doffs his ten-gallon hat and follows. The spurs on his boots jingle.

"What's on the menu, Chuckster?" Alexis pulls dual pistols from under her cloak, each loaded with darts containing the antidote to undeath.

"Wife wants her husband back," he says, pausing to spit tobacco. "Says she saw him wandering on 33rd. Quick and easy, home by midnight."

Alexis smirks. "Bet you a round we're done by ten." She taps the barrels of her pistols together and spins. "Catch 'em before they rot."

15.4.09

Service with a Smile

EXT. GAS STATION - MORNING.

The red pickup truck pulls into the gas station. It stops at
the pump farthest from the convenience store, underneath the
overhang. Jack steps out of his door, looking around
cautiously. All around the station the rain is coming down
in torrents.


INT. PICKUP TRUCK - MORNING

Zoe is still in the truck. She watches Jack as he gets out.

ZOE
What are we going to do?

JACK
See if these pumps work. If they
do, we fill up, and then we get
out.

ZOE
And go where?

JACK
Away.

Zoe frowns, and looks down at her lap.

JACK (CONT’D)
You have anything to stay for?

ZOE
(whispers)
No.


EXT. GAS STATION - MORNING

Jack walks back to the back of the truck and grabs a gas
nozzle. He opens the way to the tank and starts to fill up.

JACK
Works.

Zoe gets out of the truck and shuts the door. She’s carrying
the pistol. She walks toward the gas station.

JACK
Hey, where you going?

ZOE
(not looking back)
To pay.

She sprints off toward the convenience store, her feet
splashing the puddles and the rain soaking her almost
instantly.

Jack mutters in frustration and looks to the turning numbers
on the gas pump..


INT. GAS STATION - MORNING

The door swings open and we hear a CHIME. Zoe enters. The
lights are on inside and it’s deadly still. There’s some
dust in the air. Music is playing through unseen speakers,
and it’s a little louder than you would expect.

Zoe holds the pistol out in front of her in the fashion
you’d see someone do on a TV show- accurately but not quite
convincing.

She paces through the store, checking row by row. When she
reaches the last row, and finds nothing, she relaxes. She
stuffs the pistol into the back of her jeans and starts to
pick up some things to eat off the shelves- powered donuts,
oatmeal pies, some canned goods.


EXT. GAS STATION - MORNING

Outside Jack is finishing up pumping the gas. He looks
toward the food mart but the rain makes it impossible to see
inside.

Something in his periphery catches his eye, and he see a
zombie child, a doll still clutched in its hand, shambling
toward the back of the store through the downpour. It
disappears from view.

Jack begins to panic. He pulls the nozzle out of the tank
with the gas still running. It spills onto the cement and
soaks his shoes.

JACK
Hey! HEY! Zoe! Watch the back door!
The back door!


INT. GAS STATION - MORNING

Zoe continues to shop. She is facing Jack but doesn’t see
him waving his arms. His cries are barely audible over the
loud song. She picks up a loaf of bread and turns around.


EXT. GAS STATION - MORNING

Jack scrambles to get the nozzle back on the pump. He grabs
the rifle out of the cab of the truck and starts running
toward the station.

JACK
Zoe! Zoe!


INT. GAS STATION - MORNING

Zoe’s hands are full but she’s still fingering the pistol.
She takes her things and walks up to the register and lays
everything on the counter. She walks around to the back of
the counter and pulls a couple plastic bags from a
dispenser.

Then her eyes fall on a body behind the counter. The
convenience store clerk lays still, bite marks all over his
arms and chest. Zoe holds her hand- and gun- to her face and
backs up against the wall.

JACK (O.S.)
Zoe! Look out!

Zoe looks up to see Jack running to the front of the store
in hysterics. He swings the door open and wildly and
immediately brings the rifle up in a shooting position. The
rainwater is rolling off him. He’s aiming to Zoe’s right.

Zoe turns to look where he’s aiming and sees the zombie
child just a few feet from her, dragging one leg as it
walks.

Zoe is frozen. The zombie child reaches out and lays a cold
hand on her leg. It lets out a horrifying, childlike moan.

BLAM! Jack fires the rifle and lays down the zombie child.
The doll in its hand falls to the dirty store floor. It
lands awkwardly, just like the zombie. There are X's on its
eyes.

Jack moves to Zoe. Her eyes have glazed over.

JACK
Are you OK?

ZOE
I was just trying to help. Get some
food.

Jack puts his arm around her.

JACK
Let’s just get to the truck and get
out of here.

The two exit the convenience store, leaving the groceries
behind on the counter.